The trailer for The Mysterians claimed, in a typically distorted Japanese-English translation, that the film is "more spectacular than Can people defend the Earth? space films, Gojira [Godzilla] and Rodan." I have not yet seen Rodan, but I can sure say this is no match for Godzilla.

During a celebration, the trees in a nearby forest begin burning from the roots, and the land in the same area collapses. Then -- wouldn't you know it? -- a giant robot surfaces and desolates a town, in one of the movie's few fun scenes. It turns out that thousands of years ago, a race of aliens called the Mysterians blew up their own planet in a nuclear war, and after living on and around Mars for a while, they have recently snuck down to just below the surface of the earth. Now they've come forth, asking for a plot of land and permission to copulate with our women because something is wrong with their bodies, and it is difficult for them to successfully procreate within their own species . . . sure. Oh, that giant evil robot? That was just a friendly demonstration of their military might so we would know not to preeminently attack them. Either way, Japan responds both ray-guns blazing. That way we'll show them "how determined we are," whatever that means.

The Mysterians seems to be trying to be the ultimate "Can people defend the Earth? space film" by combining elements from two very good ones -- the aforementioned Godzilla and America's The Day the Earth Stood Still -- and throwing in what it must have thought were SPECTACULAR battle scenes. This aim does it in for a number of reasons but primarily because the battles suck. Not only are they boring, but they're also riddled with as many bad edits as they are with inconsequential explosions and under-explained ray weapons, which is to say too many. To make it worse, the film seems to think these battle sequences are so awesome that they warrant prolonged attention. As a result, the film keeps us on the monotonous parts that it should have quickly run through. We also skip the more interesting stuff so that we can get to this monotony. *sigh*

The other problem with this setup is that part of what made its influences so good was the lack of contesting military strength. Godzilla was overcome with creative scientific problem-solving, and the extraterrestrial forces in The Day the Earth Stood Still were simply unstoppable, so there were no real battles at all. These scenarios forced us to question our values in order to solve the bigger problem. In The Mysterians, the solution is somewhat scientific, but it still amounts to a contest of military force. This, by the way, renders the already-spasmodic anti-war theme defunct.

Another thing this film lacks is any sort of inner struggle, be it within a character or society, that brings that person or society to a realization about itself. In this film's groups, everything is agreed upon, and the individuals are always confident and constant in their decisions. Sometimes alternate solutions are offered, but they are ultimately agreed upon unanimously. Sometimes characters make wrong decisions, but the errors are never realized. Our understanding of the world never shifts.

If the film works on any level -- and that's a big "if" -- it works better as a warning than an allegory. As opposed to Earth being pitted against a morally superior force, the opposing sides in The Mysterians are roughly moral equals, even though it might not seem that way at first. The line of events changes the film's theme gradually from anti-war to anti-nationalism to anti-stupidity and finally around to ... pro-war. I know it sounds stupid, but that is the only conclusion one can come to at the end of the movie. It sounds stupid because it is stupid. This odd progression coupled with lame extraterrestrials makes for a few good laughs and nothing more.